Grandson, Gronk, Fingernails - Who Knew?

Watching Grandson's Nails Go Gronk Viral
by Bill Gouveia for the Sun Chronicle

If you’ve never had the opportunity to watch as your 5-year-old grandson goes viral and takes over the internet, let me tell you – it’s quite an experience.

As Jim Hand’s front page story reported here (Sun Chronicle, October 24), my grandson Sam Gouveia recently ran into a problem involving fingernail polish, gender expectations, and what my son Aaron (Sam’s dad) refers to as “toxic masculinity”.  I won’t go over the whole thing in my limited space here. 

Suffice to say he wore nail polish to school, and was devastated to be teased by kids and told “that’s for girls”.  He could not understand why even some of his friends were being mean just because he likes “pretty nails”.  He was inconsolable, and initially wanted to take off the polish to stop the teasing.

In many households the story would have ended with Sam removing the polish, conforming to societal gender norms, and blending in.  But my son Aaron and his wife MJ believe in two things above pretty much everything else:  Loving their kids, and teaching them to always respectfully stand up and be themselves.

They talked to him, asking if he liked wearing the polish.  He said he did.  They told him polish was not “just for girls”, and that many men wore it too.  Sammy was skeptical.

At that point Aaron turned to the internet, where he is a “Dad Blogger” of some considerable repute.  He posted and tweeted pictures of Sam and laid out the situation, saying it was outrageous that in this day and age this type of mentality was still being passed along to future generations.  “He cited “toxic masculinity” and bemoaned the loss of his son’s ability to simply be himself.  That’s the short version.

The response from people across the world – not just the country – was swift, overwhelming, and totally unexpected though tremendously appreciated.

Sammy’s story was posted on sites and in newspapers across the globe.  Aside from the Sun Chronicle, he was in the Boston Globe, Good Morning America, ABC News, Yahoo, People.com, BuzzFeed, Huffington Post, and newspapers and sites in the United Kingdom and even in China.  Aaron’s original Twitter feed has been re-tweeted over 30,000 times and counting.  Sammy has appeared on television stations across America, and has been among the top stories on major national news sites. 

The response has been overwhelmingly positive and supportive, although there have been negative comments and reaction as well.  Sam went back to school in newly-applied polish, supported by teachers, administrators and citizens of his community.  In fact, some across the Twitter universe wore nail polish on Friday of last week in support of Sammy.

It came to a head Saturday, when Patriot All-Pro Rob Gronkowski tweeted a video message of support to Sammy on the Patriots Twitter account.  Sammy was ecstatic – though I think Dad, Uncle Nate and Grandpa were even more excited

On Friday I attended the annual conference of the Massachusetts Moderator’s Association.  I don’t know if my fellow Moderators noticed, but I did so proudly rocking painted fingernails.  All in support of my grandson and his parents.

It’s been a great week to be a Grandpa and a Dad.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and longtime local official.  He can be emailed at billsinsidelook@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.

Boston Fans Behavior A Bit Overblown

Who's Obsessed and Arrogant?  Us?

by Bill Gouveia

Despite the fact the Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs played perhaps the most entertaining and intense game of the entire NFL season two Sunday nights ago, the actions of a handful of fans — one in particular — seems to be commanding a lot of local and national attention.

And rightly so, to a point.

A 21-year-old Mansfield man is under investigation for tossing a beer into the face of Chief’s receiver Tyreek Hill after he burned the Patriots for an amazing 75 yard touchdown reception late in the final quarter. He was also greeted by several New England fans with an all-too-familiar obscene gesture known as “flipping the bird.”

The Patriots organization, with local police, identified the beer-thrower and took swift action in less than 24 hours. He is banned for life from all Gillette Stadium events, and will be referred to authorities for possible charges.

In the meantime, the national narrative has returned to how awful Boston fans are. How they are generally obsessed Neanderthals who have no lives other than their local sports franchises, and the most obnoxious fan base in the entire country.

I’ll agree with at least part of that.

As a dedicated and lifetime Boston sports fan, let me fully admit to the obsession aspect. Professional sports in these parts has always been taken more seriously than in other places outside the Northeast. Of course, there are levels of said obsession. It is possible to be an avid Boston sports fan without being a bit over the top — though I admit to not quite understanding how.

As a 47-year Patriots season ticket holder, I’ll also agree with the obnoxious charge. As a stereotypical group, we are hard to take. Two decades of unprecedented success has brought our smugness to new levels. Add three Red Sox championships in the last 14 years (and possibly another this year), and it gets worse.

But in my nearly five decades of going to Patriot games, I have to tell you Pats fans are generally not poorly behaved at the stadium. Since the Kraft family bought the team, they have enforced better conduct at the stadium. For the first 20 years or so I had my tickets? Well, that was another story. The tales of crazy and unlawful behavior at the old Schaeffer/Sullivan/Foxboro stadium were pretty disgusting.

But the rise in criticism of Boston fans is directly related to the rise in success of Boston teams. And that just goes with the territory.

Let’s be clear. The idiot who threw a beer at an opposing player deserves the lifetime ban. That borders on assault, and should never be tolerated. He deserves to face charges.

But having attended Patriot games in New York, Pittsburgh, Oakland (talk about criminal behavior) and many other places, let me tell you Gillette is far from the worst. That doesn’t excuse the recent behavior, but it is not unique nor unprecedented.

It’s still wrong, and Patriot fans need to be better than that. But we are not totally obsessed idiots.

Now excuse me while I find my lucky shirt and drape it over my life-size Tom Brady statue in the bedroom.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and a longtime local official. He can be emailed at billsinsidelook@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.

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Not Just Dangerous For Young Men...

This column appeared in the Sun Chronicle on Friday, October 12, 2018

AN INSIDE LOOK

By Bill Gouveia

            “This is a very scary time for young men in America…”

            That was how President Trump responded recently when asked about the impact of the Supreme Court Kavanaugh confirmation hearings on the country.  Trump clearly sees Justice Kavanaugh as the only victim in this situation.  He has ridiculed and insulted the woman who testified she was sexually assaulted and clearly and unambiguously identified her attacker at great personal risk.

            But he does not limit it to just the Kavanaugh situation.  The President of the United States believes this is a dangerous time for young men.  He expressed concern for them in today’s society, citing “evil people” who threaten them. 

And what about young women?  Does he also believe it is a dangerous time for them?  When directly asked if he had a message for young women given recent events, President Trump seemed totally unconcerned.

“Women are fine”, he said dismissively, then turned and walked onto his Presidential helicopter, headed to make yet another political speech.

Women aren’t fine, Mr. President.  They are strong.  They are brave.  They are smart.  They are growing in political power and confidence.  They are continuing their fight for equality under the law, in government, and in our society.  They are helping their brothers, husbands, sons and other men better understand that they don’t need to be cared for – they need to be cared about.

It’s perfectly fine for you to be worried about young men, President Trump.  You should be worried about all young people.  But you seem obsessed with your own experiences.  Sir, the lessons we preach are never as effective as the lessons we teach by example, by how we act towards others.

For generations, we as a society made it nearly impossible for women who had been abused to step forward.  We made reporting abuse and sexual assault a badge of dishonor for the victim.  We expected women to simply understand it was a man’s world, and they weren’t cut out to run it. 

It has been less than a century since women earned the right to vote in this country.  It has been less than half a century since women were given control of their own bodies.  And it was only 13 years ago a man who would become the 45^th President of the United States was taped saying the following:

“You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything…Grab ’em by the p***y. You can do anything.

We should thank him for a great teaching moment.  You have to wonder if he still believes “they let you do it”. 

“They” aren’t letting anyone do it anymore, Mr. President.  Women are standing up for themselves.  And while you think that puts young men in danger, it doesn’t.

But it does put sexual predators in danger.  It puts those who still believe “you can do anything” in danger.  It means the days you apparently still long for are finally ending. 

And that is great news for all Americans.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and a longtime local official.  He can be emailed at billsinsidelook@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.