Friday, August 7, 2015

Me, My Wife, And A Treasure Chest

This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle on August 7, 2015.

(And the headline was wrong - only 38 years of marriage)

GOUVEIA: 42 years of marriage is a thing to be treasured

The treasure chest currently sitting the Gouveia dining room.

Posted: Thursday, August 6, 2015 10:33 pm

By BILL GOUVEIA / For THE SUN CHRONICLE |0 comments

My wife and I are the couple that proves the validity of the old saying that “opposites attract.” The fact we have now been together for over 42 years is testament to our love, her patience and my complete inability to even contemplate an existence that did not include her by my side.

But if you ask me if I understand her, the answer would be a resounding “No.” Not at all. Not even close. I don’t have a clue. And after 38 years of marriage, I’m convinced that is a key component to our survival.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t know what she likes and doesn’t like — somewhat. It is nearly impossible (even for a stereotypically dense husband such as myself) to spend this much time with a partner and not become vaguely familiar with their likes and dislikes.

But our brains just work on different wavelengths. That doesn’t mean either of us is smarter or better than the other — just different. Of course, I am different in a normal way. Her way of being different is on another level, entirely.

For example, she is a room-temperature eater. She waits for her hot meals to cool. She can’t eat her ice cream until it is soupy. It’s just her way.

She has an artistic mind. Very little is symmetrical in her world. Different is normal, and normal is wrong. Must be why she loves me.

But there are some things that just go beyond my limited ability to comprehend. A recent example would be my efforts to understand why there is currently a treasure chest in my dining room.

That’s right, I said a treasure chest. And I don’t mean a McDonald’s Happy Meal-size treasure chest here. I’m talking about a real, full-size, wooden, shiver-me-timbers type treasure chest. One that looks like Long John Silver could have once buried it on a deserted island.

It is made of some type of wood, has some broken leather straps on the side, and I could probably fit inside it with a few alterations (a chilling fact that did not escape my attention when I first saw it).

It showed up on my steps a week or two ago with no explanation. I asked my Beloved why it was there, and in response she asked me to please help her carry it into the dining room. The fact I did so with little questioning probably says more about me than it does her.

When I finally inquired why it was here, she looked at me strangely, and said she bought it for our church fair (she is the fair chairwoman this year, a fact I first learned when it was mentioned by someone else at a meeting).

I naively asked what she was going to do with it at the fair, and she again looked at me like I was child and said, “It’s a decoration.” I told her I had not been aware the annual holiday fair this year had a pirate theme, and she gave me a glare that suggested I quit while I was ahead.

Then I asked why, if this prize was headed for the church, was it in my dining room? Patiently, as though English were not my first language, she told me the floors in the church were being redone, and it would go there later. She wanted it in the dining room because the basement would be too far for her to carry to the car, should the need arise.

I asked if she had dug this up somewhere, and she told me she got it at a yard sale. I immediately pictured a gleeful family wearing eye patches celebrating that someone had actually paid them money and hauled away this old trunk they had not wanted to spend the effort breaking up for the trash.

And it is still there, being guarded by the dining room furniture and some of my grandchildren’s stuffed animals. I can’t wait until Santa Claus swoops down on his pirate ship and picks it up at church fair time.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go warm up some ice cream ...

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist, husband, father and grandfather. He can be emailed at aninsidelook@aol.comand followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Mansfield Downtown Decision Was Bad Choice

GOUVEIA: Clear vision needed for downtown Mansfield

Bill Gouveia

Posted: Sunday, August 2, 2015 11:07 pm | Updated: 11:23 pm, Sun Aug 2, 2015.

BY BILL GOUVEIA FOR THE SUN CHRONICLE |0 comments

The Mansfield Planning Board made a major decision on the future of the downtown area recently. Only time will tell if their actions will protect the integrity of the cherished area, or if they have ruined the best chance it had for revitalization.

Developer Marco Crugnale saw his plans for some proposed buildings near the Mansfield train station derailed when three planning board members voted against his long-discussed project. Ralph Penney, Richard LeBlanc and Michael Feck surprised most observers by voting in opposition. The other four members supported the proposal, but because it involved allowing some residential use in a business zone it needed a "super majority" of five to pass.

North Common Estates, as it was to be named, would have been comprised of one 42-unit apartment building as well as one 39-unit apartment building with 7000 square feet of retail space. The value of the entire project was pegged at approximately $15 million.

Supporters praised the plan and called it a key to bringing prosperity back to downtown. Town Planner Shaun Burke pointed out it would improve traffic flow. Others said it would be a major factor in the town's efforts to land a MassWorks grant to secure further improvements.

Planning Board Member Don Cleary called it "the right project in the right place" and said the benefits far outweighed the negatives.

But in the end the project was too much residential and not enough retail for the three in opposition. They cited the need to preserve as much retail use as possible in the area. Penney noted the plan would be taking parcels with up to five businesses currently there and converting them to residential use.

What he failed to do was prove that in this case, that is a bad thing.

For the last quarter-century or more, the leadership in Mansfield has debated how to "revitalize" the downtown. When I was growing up and spending considerable time in Mansfield in the '60s and '70s, there was no better place. The businesses were thriving, run by local people who knew the names of most of their customers. It was the centerpiece of the community, and people regularly patronized the shops.

But this is a completely different era. Mansfield is a completely different town.

Over time the shopping habits of consumers have changed. They tend to go to bigger box stores where the goods they buy are less expensive, and where they can fill many varied needs with one visit.

Mansfield has welcomed many of those types of establishments into the community. Right off Route 140 are two major shopping venues including supermarkets, department stores, restaurants, specialty shops, a bakery, liquor stores and more. And those plazas feature ample parking, unlike the limited spaces available in the crowded but quaint downtown area.

Given all that, it is highly unlikely Mansfield's downtown will ever again be a thriving retail center. But you don't need speculation to arrive at that conclusion. All you need to do is learn from recent history.

There are very few successful retail businesses in the failing downtown. There are a lot of vacant buildings suffering from considerable neglect. Despite the presence of a commuter rail station, the vision town officials have long had for this area is just unreasonable and overly optimistic.

Which raises what should be an obvious question for the three planning board members who shot down the North Common Estates project because it did not provide enough retail space:

Why in the world would you want to create more of what has not worked for the last few decades?

Residential units are not as desirable for a community from a tax standpoint. They bring people who require a higher level of public services than retail businesses. That's indisputable.

But in this case, a plan similar to North Common Estates makes a lot of sense. People living in the area would create a better business climate. It would be a win-win situation for the town.

But it doesn't fit the "vision" to which so many still cling.

Planners in Mansfield should stop trying to force the downtown area to be something it no longer is, and start allowing it to become what it needs to be.

Friday, July 31, 2015

BSA Takes Step Forward - But Not Far Enough

This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle on July 31, 2015

GOUVEIA: Being prepared to do the right thing

Bill Gouveia

Posted: Friday, July 31, 2015 9:55 am

BY BILL GOUVEIA | 0 comments

Many times this space has been critical of the Boy Scouts of America concerning its policy towards homosexual scouts and scout leaders. When I thought what they were doing was wrong, I expressed that opinion strongly.

Now that organization has taken steps towards improving that policy. They haven’t totally reversed it. They haven’t made it what I and so many across the country think it should be. It still smacks of discrimination for reasons that should be obvious in this day and age.

But it’s a step in the right direction. It is an effort to make it better. It reflects a lot of hard work by a whole lot of people, as well as a serious attempt at honest compromise by many who hold certain beliefs near and dear to their heart.

So as incomplete as their change is, I give them credit for making it. I believe it is a step towards the day when the Boy Scouts will join the Girl Scouts as a great organization serving all children and families, regardless of the sexual orientation of anyone.

This week the BSA Executive Committee voted to remove the national restriction on openly gay leaders and employees. However, it left a loophole that allows “religious chartered organizations to continue to choose adult leaders whose beliefs are consistent with their own.”

That’s polite language for saying religious organizations who sponsor the Boy Scouts can continue to practice discrimination against gay people by covering it with the blanket of “religious beliefs.” It’s pretty sad when a group like the Scouts can take that position and have it considered a positive step towards recognizing equality — but nonetheless that is what it is.

BSA President Robert Gates made it clear in his statement that aside from the moral issues that precipitated this move, there were compelling legal reasons for it to happen, as well. With the recent Supreme Court decision on marriage (it is time to put that silly term “gay marriage” aside), the position of the BSA regarding homosexuals was simply untenable.

“The country is changing, and we are increasingly at odds with the legal landscape at both the state and federal levels,” Gates told the BSA’s national business meeting in May. He also told members they could not maintain their membership rules going forward because the law and the country was changing.

That does not seem to make certain religious organizations any more likely to adapt to the law. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a longtime supporter and sponsor of the Boy Scouts, said it is “re-evaluating” its relationship with scouting due to the policy change.

“The Church has always welcomed all boys to its Scouting units regardless of sexual orientation,” the church said in a statement. “However, the admission of openly gay leaders is inconsistent with the doctrines of the Church and what have traditionally been the values of the Boy Scouts of America.”

That’s a politically correct way of saying “We will allow homosexuals to be Boy Scouts in our troops, but once they grow up we don’t want them as leaders and won’t take them based upon nothing but their sexuality.”

Is this what we are moving toward in America? Is religion the last great haven for discrimination?

I fully support private organizations — including religious groups — having the right to set their own rules and establish and promote beliefs and standards consistent with the principles on which they are founded. But when those organizations branch out into the public or quasi-public world, they must comply with the same laws and rules that govern everyone else.

No one should ever force a religious group to accept into their fold those who do not believe as they do. But that does not give them the right to practice blanket discrimination in other areas.

So, congratulations to the Boy Scouts. You have done the right thing here — you just haven’t done it far enough.

But I have faith and confidence that as the political anger and persecution complexes so prevalent today begin to fade, the Boy Scouts and others will continue their journey forward. Let’s hope the religious organizations that have helped them grow over the years stick around for the ride.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and longtime local official. He can be emailed at aninsidelook@aol.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.

Monday, July 20, 2015

It's Always a Celebration When The Tickets Come

This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle on Monday, July 20, 2015

BY BILL GOUVEIA FOR THE SUN CHRONICLE

It was Friday, the end of a long and tiring work week. I was looking forward to getting home, collapsing on the couch, and catching up on all the television I missed during the week. And then watching the Sox (yes, I'm the last one) play out on the West Coast.
I drove up the driveway, not giving much thought to what could possibly be waiting there for me. It had totally slipped my mind what time of year this was. My mind was still on work, the upcoming weekend, and having my two grandsons Saturday night.

But, as I walked from my car, a familiar sensation began to slowly creep up my spine. It took me a moment to recall it, sort of the way you suddenly recognize an old friend you weren't expecting to see. And as it does every time, my step got quicker and my heart lighter as I strode up to the door and into the house.

And there it was, sitting there waiting for me. That beautiful, heavy, overstuffed large white envelope with the Priority Mail label. My eyes misted over just a bit as I picked it up, gently turning it over. With trembling hands I removed the valuable objects inside with a reverence I seldom display.

My Patriots season ticket package had arrived.

This year is my 44th as a season ticketholder of the local NFL franchise. I still remember very well the moment it began. My mom surprised me for my 16th birthday with tickets purchased from Bus-Kot Ticket Agency in Norton, run by the Yarusites family. She bought one for me and one for my grandfather, and I was over the moon.

We were in Section 1 in the north end zone of what was then Schaeffer Stadium. There were 10 games, including three preseason contests back then. They didn't come in the mail, we picked them up. The tickets had a face value of $5 each, and they looked like they had been printed by the world's first computer.

Our seats are still in the north end zone all these years later. There are still 10 games. A single game now costs more than three full seasons did back then. Each individual ticket is now a mini work of art and comes with a fancy booklet, a commemorative pin, a lanyard (we didn't even know what that was back then) and a fancy box.

My grandfather suffered a heart attack at the stadium about five years after we started going and had to stop attending. I continued to go with friends and eventually took over their seats. After I got married, I loved taking my wife and two young boys.

When the team got really bad in the 90s, I gave up several of the seats to save money. Today, I share the remaining ones with my best friend and my grown sons. One lives in Delaware now, so it is more difficult for him to get to games. But at every single contest, I find myself sitting with at least one of my kids.

I have lasted through two different stadiums, progressing from a cold aluminum bench to a much more comfortable seat. I have watched eight different head coaches, been through four different owners, and on Sept. 10, I will cheer as a fourth World Championship banner is raised in celebration.

It is hard to comprehend the fact that four generations of my family have sat in our seats. That landmark was achieved when my grandson Will (did I mention his name is William?) came with us to a game two years ago.

Some people find it difficult to understand how sports or sports teams can be taken so seriously. How can a grown man get so excited (even though I might have exaggerated just slightly) at the mere arrival of tickets?

But I grew up going to Patriots games with my grandfather. My wife and I took our sons every week. Someday I will hand the tickets to them so they can take their children. Who knows - my great-grandchildren might someday sit in those seats.

That's not about sports. That's about family. And it's pretty damn cool.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and a true Patriots fan. He can be emailed at aninsidelook@aol.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.