Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Famous Columnist Brain Dump

This column originally appeared int he Sun Chronicle on July 23, 2012

By Bill Gouveia

It’s the last week of July, the time newspaper columnists traditionally perform the mind-clearing process known as “The Brain Dump”. For those not familiar with this highly technical journalistic term, it refers to the practice of emptying the chamber of our meager minds that collects stray facts and thoughts in order to make room for more useless and disconnected information and opinions.

Well actually, it may only be this columnist who uses this complicated technique. Okay, it may not really be all that complex. And yes, it is usually performed at a time when the local news may be a bit slow and this particular space needs to be filled with fascinating and inspiring prose. But that’s all just coincidental.

So without further ado, please allow me to open the floodgates and begin my own personal “Brain Dump”:

Michelle Bachman is a member of the House Intelligence Committee. No other single piece of information has ever simultaneously amused and frightened me as much as this.

Is there some big secret going on in Seekonk’s town government? Members of the board of selectmen seem to be governing amid tension so thick you can get stuck in it just walking through town hall.

The story of the Attleboro Redevelopment Authority is really nothing more than a tale of politics as old as the hills. Mayor Dumas knew what the cost would be to seize control of the board and fire the director when he did it. He knew he would lose in court. He just decided it was worth it.

I am totally hooked on the new HBO series “Newsroom”. The writing is the best on television since “West Wing” finished its run.

Until Sally Ride died this past week, I never knew she had a same-sex partner for the last 27 years. Neither did most of America. Isn’t that the way things are supposed to be? Imagine – the first American woman in space, who dedicated her later life to bringing science to kids – could not have been a Boy Scout leader. What a country.

If Norton residents can’t come together to support an adventure camp on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Reservoir, how will they feel if someone builds a house or other business there?

The shooting this past week in Colorado has absolutely nothing to do with gun control laws, and anyone who tries to make it about that controversial issue – on either side – should be ashamed of themselves.

I have an iPhone. My wife has a Droid. I think she’s doing this just to spite me.

The new building going up near the Route 106 railroad underpass in Mansfield very much changes the view when you approach coming from Route 140.

It is difficult to believe the parking bylaw passed by Foxboro’s Town Meeting for the neighborhood around the stadium is actually constitutional. It will be interesting to see if the state attorney general’s office allows it to stand.

The Plainridge Race Track in Plainville just seems like the perfect place to put one of the state’s slot parlors. The location, the infrastructure, it all makes sense – which is probably why here in Massachusetts it won’t happen.

Why is it I just can’t watch a whole Red Sox game this season? This is the most unlikeable local team I can remember.

If you insist on continuing to refuse to raise taxes on wealthy Americans because you want them to create jobs, you need to understand they are looking to employ fewer people, not more. That doesn’t make them bad – just savvy. Any tax breaks you give them will go into their pockets, not into the economy. Can you blame them?

My wife has gotten me to watch a few of those “fixing up the house” shows on HGTV. Someone please help me.

They told me I could lose weight if I joined a gym. Now they tell me I actually have to go to the gym. This doesn’t seem fair.

I was out of town for a week – did North Attleboro have another vote on an old charter proposal while I was gone? Just checking…

Who has the best tasting chocolate ice cream locally? I’m on a mission to find out.

Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and can be emailed at aninsidelook@aol.com and followed on Twitter at @Billinsidelook.

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