This column originally appeared in the Sun Chronicle on Monday, December 24, 2012.
AN INSIDE LOOK
By Bill Gouveia
Christmas
Eve is one of my favorite nights of the year. After all, celebrating an evening where you
expect a fat guy to drop by is right up my alley. And like Santa, people pretend to be asleep
when I come visiting.
This
is a day and a night for joy, reflection and celebration. It is also the time I revive what has become
something of my own personal Christmas tradition, offering up my stilted
version of the famous yuletide poem “The Night Before Christmas”. I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly
since last year. Well, maybe not all of
you.
So
once again with never-ending apologies to Clement Moore (and my thanks to our
local governments and officials), I give you the latest local political version
of the greatest of all Christmas poems:
T’was
the night before Christmas, and the political scene
Seemed
to be quiet, though not quite serene.
In
Attleboro, Councilors met and ate Christmas cookies
While
rehashing arguments from both Veggies and Bookies.
The
taxpayers were settled all snug in their beds,
While
nightmares of fiscal cliffs danced in their heads.
Your
esteemed local columnist was preparing to rest
And
soon would be snoring away with great zest.
Then
from the front yard there came a big boom
That
rattled the house and shook every room.
I
ran out the front door and stifled a yawn,
Amazed
at what rested upon my front lawn.
The
moonlight was reflecting off the newly fallen snow,
As
workers on overtime plowed the white streets below.
When
suddenly, plummeting down through the night
Was
a sleigh with five people engaged in a fight.
They
were arguing and griping, and disciplining their elves.
They
were Seekonk selectmen (they never blame themselves).
They
were delivering presents for towns nearby,
They
were running very late, but they still had to try.
Their gifts to North Attleboro were
supposed to be free,
But everything there now comes with a
fee.
They
left a few presents and a very warm greeting,
And
tried reducing the size of Representative Town Meeting.
When
they hit Plainville they made it a point
To
fly over the site of the proposed gambling joint.
Over
Wrentham and Norfolk they continued to soar
As
through the still night their complaining did roar.
Norton’s
present was a school boss who really might stay,
And
finally those search committees can just go away.
The
selectmen’s present was nothing to fear -
They’ll
go to New York for UN Day next year.
In
Mansfield, Comcast Center gets a new sold-out show
Featuring
Dentino and Montgomery just rarin’ to go.
A
true gift would be a year with no more tragic losses,
But
that requires cooperation between all of the bosses.
An
area democrat as state rep was past due,
So
they gave Attleboro citizens new Rep. Paul Heroux.
Our
other state reps got a gift for their quirk –
They
get per diem payments just for going to work.
Sen.
Scott Brown was not the voter’s selection,
So
his gift is – yes, yet another election.
For
Rep. Frank, who chose not to run,
It’s
a retirement of torturing Republicans for fun
Their
stop in Rehoboth was very, very brief -
Selectmen
have stopped handing out as much grief.
Some
see that as town government starting to snooze,
They
have let Seekonk take over as the town in the news.
They
saw me and considered just running me down,
Then
settled for glaring, and a serious frown.
In
executive session, they then took a vote
To
totally ignore anything I ever wrote.
They
finished their deliveries (the DPW was last),
And
headed home to reminisce of Christmas’s past.
But
I heard them exclaim as they rode out of sight,
“There’s
Bingo at the Senior Center tonight!”
Merry
Christmas, good readers.
Bill Gouveia is a
local columnist, town official, husband, parent, grandfather, and terrible
poet. He wishes you all a Merry
Christmas and Happy Holidays, and can be reached at aninsidelook@aol.com.
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