AN INSIDE LOOK
By Bill Gouveia
I
believe in equal rights for women in all areas.
Equal pay, equal opportunity, the right to choose and control their own
bodies. But if you are going to claim
equal rights, you have to be fair and not demand special rights at the same
time.
For
many generations now women have dominated their male counterparts in one
particular area, and it is time for it to stop.
It is a simple matter, but remains controversial. I am going to pick up the mantle and carry
the cause forward to ensure the rights of men.
The
male of our species should not be expected to keep the toilet seat down. It defies the principles of common sense,
common courtesy, and fairness.
Think
about it. Why should men be required to
exert the additional time and energy for no good reason other than to give
women the advantage in our bathrooms? A
brief review of the facts will clearly reveal this creates an undue and unfair burden
on my brothers.
One
of the biggest complaints women have concerning men and the bathroom is – well,
they tend to “miss” sometimes. So women
want the seat they left down to be raised while the guys do what guys usually
do when standing in the bathroom. Then
they want the seat lowered again so they don’t have to do it.
The
end result is men are expected to raise and lower the toilet seat during each
bathroom session. But women, under the
current rules, never have to even touch it.
This is tyranny, and cannot be allowed to stand.
Another
frequent defense of the existing discriminatory toilet policy is what I refer
to as “The Fall-in Factor”. How often
have you heard the tale of woe from a female who got up in the middle of the
night, walked into the bathroom to answer the call of nature, and sat on the
toilet only to discover the seat was up and the water was cold?
I
reject the conclusion this is the fault of any men in the house. With all due respect to the fairer sex – is
it our fault you didn’t look where you sat?
Don’t you have any responsibilities at all for what happens in the
bathroom?
If we
happen to move a kitchen chair away from the table and you sit where it was and
fall, is that our fault too? Perhaps
guys should escort the ladies of the house into the powder room each time and
personally inspect the seat situation before they hurt themselves? Oh, the horrors of expecting them to look
first, sit later.
There is
also the “common courtesy” argument. It
is said men should raise and lower the seat as a matter of politeness and
respect. Well, it
certainly is a nice gesture.
But why
does that respect and courtesy not extend equally in both directions? To be sure, women in general get more square
footage in the bathroom than their male counterparts. However, the toilet itself should be
asexual. If guys have to lower the seat
for gals, shouldn’t they have to lift it for us? Courtesy and respect ought to be gender
neutral.
Men do have
specific duties in the bathroom they must take care of regularly. The old adage “If you tinkle when you
sprinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie” was on a sign in my mother-in-laws
bathroom for years. It is a valid (if
somewhat hokey) way of reminding us to clean up after ourselves. That is a perfectly reasonable request and
should always be fully honored.
But
training men to lower the seat is demeaning to both the men and the women who
force them to do it. And to those ladies
who say it is so little to ask and requires minimal effort, I say: Then why don’t you do it?
For
centuries now, women have played on our inbred guilt to get us to perform this
menial task. It is well past time we
stood up for ourselves while – well, standing up for ourselves.
And for the
record, my wife never complains when I leave the seat up. She says it’s a wasted effort. Smart lady.
Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and
longtime local official. He can be
emailed at aninsidelook@aol.com and followed on Twitter at
@Billinsidelook.
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