AN INSIDE LOOK - Commentary and opinions on local politics and life in general in Southeastern Massachusetts! Featuring the writings of Bill Gouveia, newspaper columnist for the Sun Chronicle and local cable TV talk show host. Feel free to read, comment and enjoy!
Friday, October 31, 2014
Halloween Costumes of Local Public Figures Revealed
This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle on Friday, October 31, 2014
AN INSIDE LOOK
By Bill Gouveia
is Halloween, one of the uniquely American holidays that doesn’t get you a day
off from work but does encourage you to knock on your neighbor’s front
door.The one night a year when you are
expected to dress up in scary or amusing costumes.A chance to express yourself in an
uninhibited and unrestrained manner.
course, it is supposed to be about children.They generally dress up as the things that scare them most – or at
least, they did in my day.We dressed as
ghosts, goblins, zombies, monsters, all the things that dominated our
nightmares and sent shivers and tremors down our spines.It was a way of facing and overcoming our
may be different today, when costumes tend to be superheroes and cartoon
characters.But many of us still believe
our choice of Halloween costumes – particularly as adults – says a lot about
what we are thinking beneath the surface of our outside personas.
that in mind, I set out to use the skills of my crack team of trained
investigators to discover what some of our local and state officials and/or
public figures were going to be for Halloween.Using methods unknown even to the NSA and
CIA, they worked tirelessly to discover what these good folks were planning on
being tonight when the sun goes down.It
just might be indicative of what they fear the most.
without further ado, I give you the results they uncovered.Here are what some of your favorite public
figures will be dressing as this Halloween.
The North Attleboro Board of Selectmen will
be going all out tonight.Some will
dress as a modern town charter.Others
will don costumes and go as children denied a place to play in the street.The remaining members will be disguised as an
actual binding ballot question.
The Seekonk School Committee will, as
expected, dress as a school employee with actual job security.
Gubernatorial candidates Martha Coakley and
Charlie Baker are going out as their collective worst nightmares.Both will be clothed as Plainville voters
asking for a rational explanation of why the candidates support an unbuilt
Springfield casino but not the half-constructed Plainville racino, should
Question 3 pass.
State Representative Betty Poirier will
be in costume as a state representative from an outside district visiting
Attleboro without her own approval.
The Catholic Bishops of Massachusetts
will be dressing as people who want to spend some of their money gambling in
casinos rather than bingo games or church raffles.After the Pope’s comments this week, some
might also dress as cast members of “The Big Bang Theory”.
The Rehoboth Board of Selectmen will be
walking throughout the community in costume as a packed Town Meeting pretending
to have the best interests of the town as a whole in mind, but really there for
only one specific purpose.
Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick will
dazzle and amaze when he dresses up as a sports reporter with a legitimate
question who he can’t intimidate into silence.
Mansfield Selectmen will be varying
their approach to the holiday.Some will
go as newly available liquor licenses, others as voters who say they will shop
at downtown stores but actually go to the malls and shopping plazas.And of course, one will be dressed as a
bilingual help wanted sign.
The Foxboro Selectmen will be revealing
some deep-seated fears with their costumes.Some will be dressed as Robert Kraft, some as an electronic sign, and
others as a town counsel with some backbone and capable of independent
thought.Plans to dress as the Open
Meeting Law were dismissed as too difficult.
course, inquiring minds want to know what your intrepid Sun Chronicle Columnist will be trick-or-treating as on this
Halloween night.I was originally going
to opt for the frightening look, and thus simply go as I usually appear.But at the last minute I decided to dress up
as something truly terrifying.
if you see someone walking around in a NY Giants football jersey and wearing a
NY Yankees baseball hat, please just wake me up and send me back to my
Halloween to all you kids out there, both big and small.
Bill Gouveia is a local columnist and
can be emailed at firstname.lastname@example.org and followed on Twitter at